On the topic of honor killings.

Today, i read an article on Time magazine's website about the honor killing of an Iraqi-American girl by her Iraqi father, which happened in Arizona. 20-year-old Noor Al-Maleki was run down by her father in his Jeep, which was going very fast, in the parking lot of the Department of Economic Security (DES) in Peoria, Arizona. Her companion at the time was also struck down by her father, and by the time emergency services arrived, Noor was in a comatose state. She passed away after her family chose to unplug her life support machines, after being informed by doctors that she was brain dead.

To her parents, Noor brought dishonor on their family by choosing to make her own choices. She liked wearing "American" clothes, and defied her father's order of an arranged marriage. Noor has also left the family home to move in with a longtime family friend - the same friend who was struck down by her father's Jeep on that fateful night.

Unsurprisingly, the majority of the comments left on this article were "Islamophobic" and disdainful towards the religion, calling it evil, barbaric and so on and so forth. While i understand where these readers' comments are coming from, i must reiterate this again and again that culture =/= religion. It has been said so many times, and yet, so few seem to understand.

Honor killings have never been taught or preached in Islam - ever. Heck, this practice predates the religion, as Arab tribes buried newborn babies, mostly girls, because having a daughter was considered shameful in their time and culture. Even today, honor killings do Christian families, or non-Muslim families, happen just as honor killings in Muslim families do. Admittedly, they are rare and not as plentiful as ones committed by Muslim families, but they happen nonetheless. The majority of honor killings take place in Middle Eastern countries, or amongst people of Middle Eastern heritage, and these people happen to be Muslim. Does this mean that Islam advocates the murder of own daughters? Absolutely not! I, and many other Muslims, will agree that this is a barbaric and evil practice, but it has nothing to do with Islam and everything to do with culture, or at least how a person was brought up.

Take for example, my own self. I am 18 years old, Muslim and living in Malaysia. I don't wear the hijab, i mostly wear dresses and i just recently learnt how to put on eyeliner. My father has not arranged any marriage with any man with me and i am free to make my own choices (befriend other boys), as long as they are within the boundaries of Islam. I am still alive, and so are many of my other friends who are female and Muslim - some of them wearing the hijab, and some of them not. Honor killings are an unheard of occurrence in this part of the world, and we are a Muslim country too. My religion is not my culture, and vice versa.

When non-Muslims tell me that a woman is disrespected in Islam, i sigh in exasperation. The examples frequently cited to me almost always consist of women living in Saudi Arabia. Last May, i took a trip to Perth and it was my first time travelling on my own. Upon arrival at the airport and while waiting for my luggage to come out, the couple who were standing next to me began a small argument, which escalated into quite a loud fight, thanks to the husband's uncontrollable anger. He frequently called his wife stupid, lazy and an idiot - they were white Australians. Is it fair for me to say that all Australians are disrespectful of their wives too, now? If you are going to tell me that Islam teaches its men to disrespect their women, i would like to remind you to give me instances that goes BEYOND the boundaries of Saudi Arabia. Have you seen any Muslim woman in Malaysia, or Singapore, or the United Kingdom, or New York walking two steps behind her husband, as a teacher of mine tried to argue with me once? Screw that, i spent almost a month in Saudi Arabia in 2009 for my Hajj, and i didn't even see this happening over there.

/off tangent but slightly related to the topic

What saddens me the most though, is that a few people in the same Iraqi immigrant community in Peoria agree with what Mr Al-Maleki did. One of the argues that Mr Al-Maleki did the "right thing" because Noor was a bad girl, a "bad Muslim", and that "our religion does not allow us to do what Noor did". Ironically, Mr Al-Maleki himself was a frequent gambler who refused to go to the mosque, and if i recall correctly, Islam prohibits us from gambling, in addition to murdering our own daughter in cold blood.