Continuation of the blurb.

As my first semester as a freshman in university comes to a close, the one lesson that i've learnt is that i took Sri Aman for granted. I know my teachers who read this blog, and possibly my friends too, will tell me that there were many, many instances whereby i criticized certain things and certain aspects of the school. I remember it myself, but as stated in the previous post, the more time i spend here, the more i realize how much better Sri Aman and its students are, despite it being only a high school while INTI is a university.

Sri Aman taught me a lot of things. My journey of self-discovery began at that school. I honed my talents and my skills in that institution. And in fact, this isn't just about me, but so many other Sri Amanians went through the same processes that i did. The process of learning and discovering and perfecting ourselves until we all became the young ladies that we are today, and i know that Sri Aman will always be a big part of the woman whom i will become.

The PRS gatherings i sat through, the ones i helped organize from the tender age of 13 until i was 16 (Form Fives weren't really required to do any Gathering planning, teehee) were all of a much higher quality than the one AUP Club Gathering Night that i attended two weeks ago. I am not undermining the authority or the ability of my INTI seniors, but this is a fact. I was chairperson of 2009's PRS Gathering, and we managed the biggest turnout out of all the years i was in PRS, and we also managed to keep them interested enough to stay until the end of the event. Such a different case it was for the AUP Club Gathering Night, as more than half of the attendees disappeared by the second half of the event.

Another thing that i appreciate about Sri Aman is how everyone cooperated with each other, regardless of how we personally felt about one another. Ideas and constructive criticism were welcomed and weighed in accordance, no matter senior or junior, but here? Shot down like a crow in Bangsar. It frustrates me because encouragement was given for us to come up with suggestions on how to further better future events but every single thing anyone of us put out on the table was met with a negative response. Maybe it is because we were all just first or second semester students with "no exposure" to organizing events? I am unsure. But what i do know is, i kept reflecting back to the past gatherings i had worked on during my tenure as a Sri Amanian, and i find that it failed, far and beyond, in comparison to my PRS ones.

I find it hard to fit in here because, aside from the majority of the students being Chinese and ONLY conversing in Chinese 90% of the time, they are all also quite cliquey with each other. To add salt to the wound, the handful of Malays that i have seen around and about here are extremely unfriendly (God knows why) and often times, i find my attempts at friendship shot down with an eye roll or disapproving look. And then i think of the 5 years i spent in Sri Aman and how everyone knew everyone and it was just, really, a big family, even with the teachers.

( The previous paragraph has no relation to why Sri Amanians are of world class calibre compared to INTI students because it isn't fair to compare the people here and the people in Sri Aman as i spent a good majority of my life in that high school whereas i am only just starting out here. Perhaps, with time, i will find myself easing into the crowd here, although admittedly, i do find it hard to believe because of the reasons stated above, but again, in all fairness, this is a university and i can't expect it to offer the same homeliness as Sri Aman would, because i suppose it is the same in any university, any where. At least i am not in UiTM, where i would be persecuted, judged and vilified for speaking English, and in the way that i do, as reported by my friends who are there right now. Pros and cons, pros and cons. )

Sri Aman, you were not a perfect school by any means, and i still hold a lot of resentment towards you for a lot of things but i would be a liar if i didn't acknowledge the great role you played in shaping the person that i am today, and in shaping the person that i will become in many years.

To sum up the lessons that Sri Aman, its teachers and its students have taught me over the last 5 years: Never settle for less, and never settle for just alright; Sri Amanians do it bigger and the best.